BY JILLIAN McCARTNEY

SALISBURY POST

Note: This article was published in The Salisbury Post in the early 2000s and is no longer available online. In February of 2016, Robert Stephen Gilmore, three-time cancer survivor, passed away. His mother, Wendy G. Baskins continues to advocate in honor of Stephen’s life through the nonprofit Stephen’s Purpose.

Jarvis Miller lives in North Carolina and is an award-winning basketball coach.

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Playing for the Junior Hornets basketball league at the Miller Recreation Center, Stephen Gilmore and Jarvis Miller own the court — with their enthusiasm more so than their skill.

Every time a teammate makes a basket, Stephen claps louder than anyone there.

When he plays, Jarvis is all over the court. When he sinks a basket he grins from ear to ear.

Both 5-year-olds are just happy to be playing.

There was a time when doctors questioned whether either of the boys would lead normal lives, much less play basketball.

Doctors found a tumor in Stephen’s brain when he was 3. The next two years were filled with brain surgery, chemotherapy and radiation and hours of physical therapy.

Jarvis was diagnosed with cerebral palsy when he was just 18 months old. He struggles daily to make his muscles work. To run and play with other children, his parents must massage his legs every morning and night.

In the beginning, both families were given grim expectations, but with their support, both boys overcame many obstacles.

“People kept saying he’s a preemie. They said he wouldn’t live, he wouldn’t walk,” Jarvis’ mom, Lovetta Miller, said. “Then I’ll carry him,” she told them.

The two boys have beaten the odds and become friends.

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On Feb. 23, 2000, Wendy Baskins, 35, brought her then 3-year-old child to Salisbury Pediatric Associates.

Stephen had been throwing up, mostly in the mornings, and walking “like a drunk,” his mother said. Wendy thought it was an ear infection or that he was allergic to milk.

After a short evaluation and a few questions, Dr. Kathy Russo said she thought Stephen might have a brain tumor. She sent them to Rowan Regional Medical Center.

“I thought this can’t be real. Stephen was my life at that point,” said Wendy, a single mom.

She expected to spend a few hours at the hospital, but after several tests, the doctors still hadn’t sent them home. Then, a doctor brought the news: She and Stephen were going directly to Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center in Winston-Salem for surgery.

Wendy said doctors told them the tumor had grown so large that it was putting pressure on Stephen’s brain. It had to be removed immediately.

First thing the next morning — Feb. 24, which is Wendy’s birthday — Stephen had surgery to remove the tumor.

During the surgery, family and friends surrounded Wendy, one of of eight children born and raised in Salisbury.

Tony Baskins and Wendy had been dating only a month at the time.

A month earlier, he had taken Wendy and Stephen on their first date. The three went bowling.

At the hospital, Tony “came that night and he never left,” Wendy said. The two married five months later and gave Stephen a little sister, Sydney, who is now 13 months old.

When Stephen awoke, they told him he had a “boo-boo” on the back of his head, but he would be all right. “The stuff that he’s handled is just amazing,” Wendy said.

Although doctors thought they had gotten all the cancer, they recommended radiation and chemotherapy to be sure.

The news floored Wendy, who had expected the surgery to take care of it all. Dr. Allen Chauvenet, a pediatric oncologist at Baptist, explained everything to Wendy and her family.

“I felt it was going to be OK,” Wendy said.

Chauvenet told them that Stephen had Medulloblastoma, a tumor that arises in the region of the brain that houses the cerebellum and the brain stem. The cerebellum is the part of the brain most responsible for balance, posture and movement.

Stephen took a low dose of radiation every day for six weeks. After he spent three days on the pediatric floor of Baptist Hospital receiving chemotherapy, he then went once a week for three weeks to the outpatient clinic. Then the cycle started again and lasted from late February until May 2001.

Stephen differentiated between the inpatient and outpatient trips, calling them the big playroom and the small playroom. “There’s always an abundance of toys,” Wendy said. “They make the kids feel at home.

Like most of the kids, Stephen mostly played. The moms were more aware of why they were there.

The treatments took their toll.

Chemotherapy claimed 65 percent of Stephen’s hearing, and doctors recently fit him for hearing aids.

Stephen’s left side is weak, giving him limited use of his left arm and leg. His left eye is very weak, which is noticeable in his facial expression when he smiles.

He also has cataracts in both eyes and suffers from hyperthyroidism, caused when the body produces too much thyroid hormone, making Stephen chronically tired.

Doctors are also concerned about the damage the radiation inflicted on Stephen’s growth. They may have to assist with drugs for his hormones to kick in at puberty.

Though Stephen has shown no signs of intellectual damage yet, doctors anticipate his IQ could be 10 to 20 points below average.

Jarvis faced troubles early

Lovetta Miller, 42, carried her fourth child for 22 weeks before she knew she was pregnant.

She and husband, Jerry, have three other children: Tiffany 21, Timothy, 20, Jerry Jr., 19.

Lovetta said they did not plan to have a fourth child and that she had been experiencing normal cycles while pregnant with Jarvis. At 22 weeks, she found out she was pregnant, and five weeks later Jarvis was born at Forsyth Hospital. He was 2 pounds and 2 ounces and more than two months early.

Lovetta and Jarvis stayed in the hospital for a week and went home with everything seemingly fine.

But by the time Jarvis reached 18 months, his parents had noticed he wasn’t as active as he should have been. Lovetta began to worry.

A cousin, Lori Flowers, who is a physical therapist, came to visit and play with Jarvis. Flowers told Lovetta she was concerned Jarvis might have cerebral palsy. Cerebral palsy is a group of disorders resulting from damage to the brain caused by one of a number of complications during pregnancy or birth.

Lovetta called a doctor, who sent them to Amos Cottage — part of Forsyth Hospital — for a battery of tests.

Finally, a doctor gave a name to Lovetta’s fear: Jarvis had Spastic-Diplegic Cerebral Palsy.

“I think they thought I was crazy, but I knew,” Lovetta said. “I was at ease with it.”

Spastic Cerebral Palsy is the most common type, and the term Diplegic indicates the disorder affects either the arms or legs. In Jarvis’ case, it is his legs.

At the time, doctors told the Millers that Jarvis might not survive. But if he did, he would probably never walk and would require a lot of physical therapy.

But the Millers wouldn’t accept that.

They took Jarvis to Charlotte Pediatric Therapy, where they learned how to care for his needs.

At first, one of his therapists tried to get him to use crutches.

“He’s a go-getter. He’s very independent,” Lovetta said. “He said ‘I’m not walking with those, I don’t need them.’ ”

And he never used them. They ended up donating the crutches.

When he was 2, Jarvis began making tremendous progress. “And he’s been making those steps ever since,” Lovetta said — using braces.

Robert Ito, of Charlotte, designs the plastic braces that help support his thin legs. On his fourth pair, Jarvis selected a safari animal design.

Every time he outgrows a pair, they are retired to a box, his mother explained, to remind him how far he’s come.

Each morning they work with Jarvis’ legs, stretching his muscles. At night, they massage his legs to help him relax. The Millers hope Botox, a therapeutic muscle-relaxing agent, may help their son.

A chance meeting

Judy McDaniel remembers when the path of these two little boys crossed on April 13, 1999. She cares for four children at a time in her home at 423 E. Fisher St.

Stephen and Jarvis met in her home.

McDaniel had been keeping Stephen since he was an infant. Jarvis came later and only for a few months.

“They just hit it off from the beginning,” McDaniel said. “They became the best of friends.

“Both of those boys are God’s little angels. When you have a day care in your home, you do get close to the kids because they become part of your family.”

“He (Jarvis) is a big fan of Stephen’s,”Lovetta said. “I think they look out for each other. It’s neat to see them together.”

Lovetta continued to keep Jarvis at home.

Before Jarvis started school, a physical therapist from Piedmont Behavioral Healthcare came to the Miller house two days a week for an hour. “She would come to my house every week and sit on the floor and show me how to work with him,” Lovetta said.

This lasted until Jarvis began school; now a therapist at the school works with him.

The Rowan-Salisbury Schools started earlier with Stephen, sending a therapist to McDaniel’s day care to help him with speech, occupational and physical therapy as well as academic work.

“The school system does a whole lot to help get children what they need and I don’t think the community knows that,” Wendy said.

This summer Stephen attended Livingstone Academy at Livingstone College to prepare him for pre-kindergarten.

Off to school

In August, Stephen and Jarvis began pre-kindergarten at North Rowan Elementary.

Before going to school, Wendy met with Marsha Woods, who teaches the pre-kindergarten class for developmentally delayed students, to make Stephen’s individual education plan.

Woods realized before long that Stephen was doing well and should spend time in a regular class. Jill Gaither, a pre-kindergarten teacher, began taking Stephen in her classroom for 112 hours a day. Gaither is working on her master’s degree at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte for pre-school exceptional children’s education.

But Wendy wanted more for Stephen, and when she approached Gaither, she learned Gaither was one step ahead.

“Even in the beginning she pushed for him,” Wendy said. “She’s given him the opportunity to learn that he may not have had if she had not been an advocate.”

By September, Stephen was in Gaither’s class 412 hours a day.

“I’m really going to fight to get him in a regular kindergarten classroom” next year, Gaither said recently.

Because his is a physical handicap, Jarvis spends all his day in Gaither’s classroom. “It’s amazing when you see all the things he’s accomplished,” mom Lovetta said.

“They’re very bright children,” Gaither said of both the boys. “I think they can learn everything.”

From the beginning, Gaither talked with her students about disabilities. “What we talk about is that there is no difference” in children, Gaither said.

And in some cases, other children envy the boys’ differences.

“When Stephen got hearing aids, everybody wanted them,” Gaither said. She uses these “teachable moments.” In this case, she talked with the class about how the ear works.

Through the school system, Gaither got Stephen an FM hearing aid system to use in the classroom. A microphone she wears transmits directly to these hearing aids.

They have puzzles in the classroom with pictures of children using crutches and leg braces, another teachable moment.

“Jarvis is the most motivated child,” Gaither said. “Jarvis is everybody’s friend. Everybody just wants to be in Jarvis’ world.”

But active as they are in the classroom, “you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen them play ball,” Gaither said.

Basketball: safe and acceptable

Doctors told Wendy that Stephen would have difficulty playing any sport because of his balance.

But Stephen was determined to be an athlete.

He always wanted to be a football player like his cousin Mitch Ellis, a star at North Rowan High and Catawba College, and Mitch’s brother, Mack, who’s a lineman for the North Rowan Cavaliers.

“Stephen looks up to Mitch and Mack,” Wendy said.

Doctors ruled out football for Stephen because of potential head injuries. But basketball is safe, and this fall, Stephen is playing on his first organized team.

Likewise, Jarvis wants to play basketball like his brother, Tim, who played at North Rowan High School and now attends Livingstone College, and coaches Jarvis’ team along with Jarvis’ cousins Tim Bates and Josh Reddick.

Lovetta said he wants to play in the National Basketball Association; his favorite team is the Lakers.

“He can do anything anybody else does,” Lovetta said. “He just falls a little more than most.”

Although both boys run a little different from their teammates, both keep up with the pace of the game.

During his game, Stephen keeps his arms up, playing good defense. Whenever someone makes a basket he claps as he runs down the court. Stephen recently received a sportsmanship award for his enthusiasm.

Jarvis’ game is full of life, apparent by his smile. He struts around the court as if he were Kobe Bryant.

Learning life’s lessons

Despite their successes, the world still notices the boys’ differences, their mother says.

Because of the problems with his left side, Stephen is noticeably different from other children.

Wendy said people stare daily and she gets a question about once a week. “I appreciate people who ask questions.”

What she wants people to understand about children with disabilities is “that they can do anything that any other child can do.

“I don’t cry when I talk about it. When I talk about it, I talk about it because it’s about joy. After you’ve experienced it, you just want to talk about it.”

Adds Lovetta: “If you see a child in a wheelchair, that’s still a child.”

Like Wendy, Lovetta notices the stares and the whispers. “I think they tend to think, if you’re handicapped you don’t have feelings.

“It’s like standing back in judgment,” she said. “I’d rather you come up and ask me … If you ask, you get an answer, but if you speculate you’ll never know.”

Gaither, the boys’ teacher, noted that Stephen was not born with a disability and that parents can never know what might happen to their child. A child may be normal today and disabled tomorrow, she said.

Into the future

Lovetta said Jarvis will need physical therapy as long as he lives, but as far as doctors can tell, he will lead a normal life otherwise.

If Stephen passes five years with no sign of cancer, he has an excellent chance of remaining cancer free.

Stephen currently undergoes a scan once every three months. Wendy and Tony typically wait anxiously three to four days for the results.

“People think that cancer has destroyed him, but it hasn’t. God’s plan for Stephen is God’s plan for Stephen,” Wendy said. “Stephen’s going to be OK. I’m not worried about him.